Secrets of the Skinny Dip Society

If any of you follow me on Instagram, you know that around this time last year, I probably blew up your newsfeed with pictures from a challenge creatively and deceptively titled as the Skinny Dip Society. Many people from back home [America] thought I was actually participating in a challenge where we were literally skinny dipping. If that were a real challenge, trust me, I'd be there too. However, this particular challenge was not a physical challenge, rather it was designed to tap into our souls and awaken our beings into self-awareness, appreciation, and acceptance. Some challenges focused on inner beauty, others challenged us to dig deep and reflect on our goals, dreams, or ambitions.

The creator, Katie Den Ouden, is a charming force of inspiration. She sends out weekly emails to encourage women from all walks of life and backgrounds to come together as a community and sisterhood to lift one another up in encouragement, beauty, and love. [Ya-ya!] Her emails provoke you to think about your life and how you can challenge yourself to become alive, wild, and free. Food for thought, food for the soul.

This year, I've stepped up to her challenge again and will soon be blowing up your newsfeed again [sorry, I'm not sorry]. However, in addition to her simple request of an Instagram to demonstrate you've completed the challenge, I will briefly write about what her challenge means to me. I'll be spilling my secrets. Follow me or join me, if you dare.

SECRETS OF THE SKINNY DIP SOCIETY
Day One: Add Beauty Daily [Buy Yourself a Bouquet of Flowers]

Today's email couldn't have come at a better moment. As I stare out into the neighborhood overcast with clouds, snow, and a mixture of slush and hidden ice, I can't help but wish for spring to awaken the Earth and fill my senses with joy. People automatically assume that because I'm from a northern Midwestern state, I LOVE winter and all activities associated with such season. Sure, snow is romantic; I love the first snow fall as it dreamily cascades onto the cold, hardened ground. Yes, snowboarding, skiing, and ice fishing can be fun. However, when you've faced the hundredth day of winter, you can't help but let out a groan. I don't love winter; I survive it.

Today, I slipped on the ice in our alleyway. As a Minnesotan, I should instinctively know better. I should practice caution wherever I go. The silly thing is, I was being cautious and STILL fell on my ass. In one fell swoop, I was on my back, coffee mug still in hand, but my cell phone in a snow bank. I'll be honest, I let out the loudest "FUCK YOU WINTER" I've ever muttered in my life. I also muttered that I will never, ever let a friend convince me to live in a winter climate again. [Sorry, Stephen, I'm leaving you for warmer weather.]

Today's challenge is to add beauty to your life with a bouquet of flowers. Thank god, because I LOVE flowers. I'm allergic to most, but will gladly bring home any flowers so that I can be reminded of life, growth, and beauty. Katie Den Ouden's message is that beauty awakens the soul. An awakened soul leads to freedom and a life full of love. Amen, sistah.

I used to believe that only men could buy you flowers. After all, it is viewed as one of the most romantic gestures in any chick-flick. When Tom Hanks brings Meg Ryan flowers [daisies] in You've Got Mail, my heart dies. Every. single. time. I'm a romantic and my heart giggles every time a woman is granted a bouquet of flowers. However, I've learned that women don't need men to buy flowers in order to feel beautiful, worthy, or special. We should feel that, regardless. We should buy each other flowers. Man or woman. Just to speak to each other's worthiness and value in life. We are all worth it. Hey, you're neat. Here are some flowers. [Men, you should still buy women flowers.]

I remember a time where my one of my besties was feeling down. A guy had never bought her flowers. It had nothing to do with her. She had just never dated a thoughtful guy before. To speak to her worthiness, I stepped up and surprised her with a bouquet of flowers for no reason other than she was worth it, she deserved it, and she was beautiful to me. [And I was in Korea... so men, there is NEVER an excuse to not send your lady flowers]. Are flowers a requirement to communicate worthiness? Absolutely not, but gosh, it sure makes our sweet hearts melt. And all you feminist friends, don't you dare deny that flowers don't make you smile. That's like saying puppies and kittens aren't cute.

I am worthy. I am beautiful. I am loved. I will celebrate with flowers.
You should do the same. [If not, I will call 1-800-flowers and bombard you with daisies].

Xoxo.

"They're so friendly. Don't you think daisies are the friendliest flower?"
-Kathleen Kelly - You've Got Mail

Baby, don't cry.

I've reached a roadblock. A mental, emotional, and physical roadblock that is quite larger than I anticipated. I didn't foresee this roadblock. I thought I had a plan. A future. A new beginning; a chance to revamp my career goals, my love life, and my body. Then life happened. Dreams change, people leave, and bodies get hurt.

I sit here as a nanny wondering why I sold myself out for this job. People think I've become a nanny by choice. Uh, no. The economy sucks, education is way too expensive and the debt is not worth it, and my skills in early childhood education have conveniently placed me in this position. I can't even land a pre-school job here because the DHS in Illinois has ridiculous hoops to jump through. At least as a nanny the money is decent, the networking can be helpful, and sometimes travel opportunities are involved. Still, the city of Chicago owns my life in taxes. Where my taxes go is completely unknown to me since the city can barely remove the snow and the public education system stinks. Never thought I would miss snow emergency procedures from Minnesota. [End Ron Swanson rant here].

Most people would say that I am gainfully employed, I have a roof over my head with one of my closest friends, and that I should be extremely grateful; I still can't help but feel frustrated. We all whine. We all complain. We all feel frustrated. It's how we adapt and change that matters.

Today I had a breakdown. First on the bus, then on my walk to work. Life as an ex-expat [is that a word?] has finally caught up to me. The reality of being removed from a position where I had found identity, friends, and purpose has finally settled in. I'm living in a new city where I have to rebuild my network, make new friends, find new opportunities, adapt, change, and repeat. It's a stressful process, kids. It's a psychological mindset we have to retrain our brains. [This same process happens as an expat while living in a foreign country--around the 6 month mark as well].

I finally mustered enough strength to stop my tears as I walked into work where I forced a happy greeting to my little boss, baby H, and began my daily routine. As soon as my grown-up bosses walked out the door, the tears once again welled up in my eyes and fell hard into baby H's breakfast of oatmeal and peaches. Sorry, kid. My shoulders caved in and I just sobbed as to how this was my life. [Pity party of one]. Needless to say, I felt pretty pathetic.

As I forced myself to stop crying in order to prevent baby H from crying with me [he's an empathetic crier], I was moved by one of the most beautiful gestures I've seen in my life. Ross [the giant mountain dog] came up beside me and placed his head in my lap. He barked once to signal his sister who then came on the other side of me and sat by my side. Baby H then let out the most beautiful giggle and smile I had ever seen. Let me tell you, this kid has precious baby blue eyes that will melt any heart. Paired with his smile, he is sure to send you into a baby cuteness coma. His [very limited] communication skills simply told me, 'Baby, don't cry [that's my job].'

This was my life. Love from a baby and two giant Bernese mountain dogs. Sometimes, that's all we need. In my frustration and pain, I found comfort from the least expected. I didn't need magical words of wisdom or the verbal reassurance I usually find from my "people." In that moment, these three [big and small] became what I needed. 

We tend to forget that we are all in this life together. Young and old. Human and animal. The universe simply coexists. From all walks of life, we go through the motions of living together. Whether you believe in a God or great spirit, the stars or the universe, Buddha or even Ganesha, there is a force among us that gently reminds us to show love, compassion, kindness, and generosity among Earth [even beyond]. We need to stop being so shitty and mean to each other and encourage each other in this path of life. Be more present, be less absentminded. Put your phones down when you're out with friends. Forget about the Instagram moments; enjoy the [live] picture before you. Love each other and be kind. This is what life is about.

Enjoy the tiny and big moments in life; you'll never know who or what is rooting for you in your corner.