Bali: Day 1

The excitement in my belly was an understatement the morning of my flight to Bali. Barely sleeping the nights prior, my body didn't seem to care as it was much too preoccupied with what was awaiting for me in paradise. My dreams were filled with dolphins, surfers, fresh fruit and beaming, friendly Balinese faces. I simply couldn't bear the anticipation.

My first stop would be Malaysia for a short layover in Kuala Lumpur, a common stopping point for the Bali adventurers alike. Upon arrival of my final gate in the ever so confusing airport, I began to see fellow compatriots line the seats of the waiting area. There were several honeymooners drenched with the freshly 'I just got married' aura, a few surfer dudes adorned with douche tank-tops and snap-back hats, a few families toting children that I would eventually want to toss out of the airplane, an elderly Australian couple decked out in authentic crocodile hunter esque gear with long silvery hair tucked back in ponytails and braids, and turquoise rings gracing each finger possible [hello future self], and of course, the lone rangers like myself: ready for adventure sans partner. All of patiently awaited our destiny in Bali. 

Upon boarding our very small aircraft, I noticed I was seated only two rows behind a Korean couple with two children :one being a small, sweet and quiet girl, the other being the spawn of Satan himself. Oh lord, have mercy on my soul. 

4 hours and several 'Omaaaa! Opaaaa!' later, we were finally able to escape the screams of the devil-child. 

My first encounter with Bali was quite friendly as I stopped at a Mac-endorsed store (hallelujah!) in search of Internet and a new charger. The young couple helped me find what I needed and wished me well on my travels. I beamed to myself as I couldn't wait to encounter other friendly Balinese. That smile stopped as soon as I turned the corner and was bombarded by the money-hungry taxi men.

 "Miss! Miss! Where you go? I take you to Kuta! I take you home! Where your boyfriend? I be your boyfriend!"

The list of unwanted and unsolicited comments followed me all the way into the bathroom. I felt trapped. I felt violated. I felt as though I wanted to get back on the airplane and go straight to America. The overwhelming thoughts subsided as I finally bucked up enough courage and set out to brave the sea of greedy once more. 

I finally found a man willing to take me to my hostel for only 70,000IRP. He seemed gentle and kind; he had a large family with three daughters and a wife. Harmless enough. 45 frustrating minutes later, he dropped me off in the middle of nowhere as he was too tired and unwilling to find my hostel. At least he agreed without payment. With tears beginning to form in the corners of my eyes, I set out into the unknown; hoping to find a bit of redeeming quality among the Balinese people. 10 minutes later, I stumbled upon a cafe where the staff people were kind enough to lend a waitstaff and a motorbike to help me find my way. Driving only around the bend, I came across my hostel: completely locked up and shut down for the night. 

Oh dear God. Why? Panic settled in all too familiar, and my heart began to race. I looked around and saw other hotels, perhaps I would strike a lucky deal and get the same price as my hostel. No, no, and a hell no from surrounding resorts and villas--all expecting at least $150 or more for overpriced bedsheets and unecessary pools of water. 

I marched back to my original hostel, secretly praying for favor. With my back turned against the alley and my head rested against the wall in angst and despair, I heard an "Excuse me, miss?" from behind. Completely startled, I turned to find a handsome Balinese man approach me from out of thin air. 

"Uhohh, yes! I'm so sorry! But, I'm trying to find the hostel owner, I am reserved to stay here for one night. This place looks closed and shut down." I stammered apologetically while wiping tears from my eyes. 

"Oh, no worries miss! I am Adan. I own this place, let's get you comfortable. We thought you weren't coming, we closed early. Our mistake. Follow me!" he replied while ushering me upstairs to my room. He quickly settled me into my dorm that I had all to myself and then wished me a goodnight and pleasant dreams. Lights out for the next 14 hours. 

The next morning was a weird one. Met by a strange yet curious woman who wanted nothing but my money and my interest in her motorbikes. After hearing I needed a bike for a week, she quickly brushed me off and sent me packing down the street. I secretly wished for Adan, the handsome stranger that appeared from nowhere last night, to come to my rescue... but he didn't. 

I sighed a deep sigh, waved to the elderly woman making her morning offering and set out for a motorbike along the busy streets of Balu Betig. Walking only 300 meters, I caught a DMC motorbike shop with plentiful bikes outside. My luck had turned after all, and I quickly made my way to the storefront. 

Promptly greeted by eager salesmen, I was quickly ushered to the necessary paperwork. Easy as 1,2,3... I was out the door, keys in hand to my freedom that awaited in Bali country-side. Helmet, backpack, and camera in tow, I was set for adventure. Bali, here I come! 

First hostel: My Place Hostel

Jl. Batu Belig No.33A

Seminyak (but really Kuta) 80361

Phone number non-existent 

Booked on www.booking.com

Motorbike Rental: DMC Tours

Tips: DO NOT take a chartered vehicle as they are unfamiliar with roads and streets. They are money hungry individuals looking for a quick payment. Push past them, walk outside the airport, cross the street and look for metered taxis. A standard trip to Kuta is 15,000, Seminyak is 60,000. 

Also, pack a pen. Biggest regret yet. Saves you time in the airport with visa and customs docs, and also allows you to make quick friends with dumbfounded travelers like myself :) 

Stay tuned for more Bali adventures! 

 

Busan or Bust: Part Deux

It's been nearly a month since my last journey to Busan, and I am sad to (finally) blog that the trip felt more like a bust than anything. Karma was not on my side throughout the weekend. Upset after upset continued to happen, and I struggled to come to terms that the universe would not just align with my plea: just work in my favor, for once!

She had other plans for me that weekend; I still tilt my head in bewilderment as to how I survived the weekend anyway. 

Let's just reminisce our little journey, shall we?

With my pack stuffed to the brim with my swimsuit, beach towel, books (nerdy power), sunscreen and casual wear [simple girl], you could say I was more than excited to embark on a destination birthday weekend with my closest and somewhat newer found friends. In all the excitement, someone suggested we should get "roadies," as we like to call beer here in Korea, since you can walk and drink almost anywhere. Even though I had Vodka tightly packed in my backpack as a reminder to conserve money, to drink responsibly and conservatively [joke's on me], I still chimed in for my friends to grab me an Asahi [favorite Japanese brew] anyway. After all, when in Korea.... have a good time.

Now, fast forward through all the boring travels en route to KTX [super fast rail in Korea], we had arrived and were finally united as a group in our train car. Of course some of the girls had created a truth or dare game that somehow turned into a drinking game [as do most games in Korea]. While stifling giggles and recklessly chugging our beers, we were bound to 'get turned up,' and not turn down for anything, or anyone [sorry to all the Koreans who tried to sleep en route to Busan]. Somehow in all the excitement, my fellow MN friend and I decided we were going to play 'pass the vodka,' and become even more 'turnt up.' Bad idea. Just a bad idea.

Moral of the train ride? Don't get turnt up. Eat dinner before traveling. Limit yourself and do drink responsibly while traveling. Here's further proof in case you aren't convinced:

As we arrived to our destination, our group hastily grabbed our belongings and made the trek towards the exit. While people before me gracefully stepped off the train, my body had other plans....

Instead of stepping down like a normal human being would, I decided to just step off the train, completely forgetting the car is elevated. We all know the laws of gravity; I am not weightless and so I fell hard onto the pavement. Tuck and roll style. With the bottle of Vodka in tow. Laughter ensues. A few bruise marks and pride completey shattered, I just kept trucking on.

In case the sheer embarrassment of falling off a train isn't enough, add in the slurred communication with our taxi driver, later vomiting in the restaurant bathroom and then getting lost near a fountain..... This trip felt like a bust from the very beginning....all due to my poor choices, of course.

However, as I was settling back into the hostel upon being found near said fountain, I made the semi-sober realization I was without my camera. My beloved camera, that which I had bought specifically for traveling abroad, was missing. Gone. Vanished. No more. My heart sank into my stomach. My pictures were all stored on one memory card because my trusty MacBook had decided to hit the can a month prior to our Busan departure. So, of course, the hit to my stomach was a double force. Actually, triple force since I had just bought my dream lens a week prior and dropped at least $300. Awesome! Crushed by my poor decisions, I vowed to limit my drinking the rest of the week. Major blow. 

The rest of the weekend was a blur; I couldn't bring myself to really enjoy the beach, pay attention to conversation, or let myself relax. My mind was in a constant state of panic and forced recall of what I had done wrong to allow my camera to be misplaced. To add to my misery, there was a huge under-sight of the original hostel we were scheduled to stay at, and because of poor communication on the hostel's part and the new website, I was slammed with a hefty cancellation charge. Perfect. 

Deep breath. Things happen all the time. I was lucky to at least have a job where my finances could be somewhat repaired. I had to continue to look for the silver linings throughout my weekend: I had my health, my friends, a family who loves me, and my memory is remarkably sharp as to where I can still remember my journeys and adventures in my mind without a photo to stare at. Not to mention, the reason for being in Busan was to celebrate my closest friend, Stephen. There was no reason for me to remain in a funk for my losses. I had all of these good things in my life, who cares about a silly camera, lens, and a cancellation charge? 

There is beauty in loss, as it forces us to be grateful for the things we often take for granted. Material possessions come and go, but friendships, memories, love, and adventure can and will last forever.

Luckily, my camera on my iPhone had magically started working after a sweaty hiatus while running, and it allowed me to capture some of our adventures and antics in Busan. 

**Many thanks to Allison's Samsung Galaxy IV as well! (Seriously, Apple fans need to convert) 

Off The Beaten Path

Today is day two in Japan and my heart is overwhelmed.

This trip was born out of complete spontaneity. While I knew that Golden Week was quickly approaching, I just couldn't commit to an idea as to how I should spend my vacation. I thought about different destinations such as Jeju Island, Busan, or Namhae Island, even a cross-country cycling trip across Korea. Each idea brought plenty of adventure but as you all know, I cannot make a decision for the life of me.

Wednesday changed everything. After bad news kept tumbling in over each other, I just couldn't take the stress any longer. I needed to get out of Korea and quickly. I had been watching ticket prices to Japan and they had dropped to the price I could actually afford, so I called JeJu Air immediately and booked a flight to Nagoya, Japan.

Now, this was Wednesday...I was set to fly out Saturday and I had no plans, no lodging, no idea of the transportation system in Japan or any clue as to what Nagoya had to offer. Many of my friends have been to Tokyo, Osaka, and Fukuyoa. No one had ever set foot in Nagoya. After reading several blogs later, I came to the conclusion that Nagoya is a place to be considered as "off the beaten path," a place not many consider as interesting or as a hot tourist place. 

I wasn't going to let that stop me. All I need to have fun is a good book, my camera, my sense of adventure, some nature, maybe some mountains, and a body of water. Besides, I've always been drawn to the "different" or "unique" aspects of life. Or all things "hipster," as my friends would jest. After scrambling on the internet, I came up with a few choice attractions and hotspots to visit. Next thing on my list: a bed to sleep in. I found a few choice hostels to look at but after contacting them, I was given the sad report: no room for you.

[Facepalm]. Of course. It's a major holiday in the Asian continents. According to booking.com, 97% of Nagoya hotels/hostels/Ryokans/pensions were booked. Panic suddenly settled into the pit of my stomach. I felt like Mary and Joseph as they were rejected by innkeeper after innkeeper on their long journey to Bethlehem. I was secretly hoping that the heavens would open up and I would be able to discover a barn to sleep in.

Nonetheless, I kept pushing forward in my scrambled internet research and downloaded every Japanese tourist app on my iPad as possible. I WOULD find a place to stay if my life depended on it [with my luck, it was very possible].

After browsing on one particular app, I noticed there was a hotel search option so I decided
to casually look in the area that I wanted to do some sightseeing near Kyoto. With great hope in my heart and a click of a button, I was shocked by the result: ONE bed left in a pension in Shiga, Japan, about 47km north of Kyoto. I had never typed so quickly in my life to get that last bed. 15 minutes later, I received an email that the reservation had been booked. Not only that, but the owner reached out personally and offered me a ride to the pension since it was far from the train station. 

Fast forward to today and I learn that the owner, Naomi, has a youth center located in Hapjeong (Hongdae), she speaks Korean very well (she did marry a Korean after all) and visits Korea bi-weekly. HOW COOL IS THAT?! My mind always explodes when I experience "small world moments." I am simply fascinated by the opportunities and people I am presented with while traveling--it is certainly a favorite aspect of traveling.

Not to mention, I just finished having breakfast with not one but two Japanese American teenagers who are currently studying abroad in Tokyo and just happen to be from the Midwest: Minnesota and Ohio [more Mid-eastern to be exact]. Normally I am not one to intrude or eavesdrop on people's conversations but I couldn't help myself when the girl started talking about camping in the north woods of MN or going to MN Twins baseball games with her college friends. My Minnesotan heart squealed with delight to find another Minnesotan abroad in Asia.

The pension I am staying at is QUITE incredible. It's located just north of Takashima, a quiet farm town nestled between Mount Takashima and Lake Biwa in the Shiga prefecture. Rice patties stretch far and wide, Buddhist temples are scattered throughout the area, the sun sparkles off the cool turquoise waters of Biwa, and these tall, gorgeous trees just loom out of the mountains. A paradise for many adventurers and cyclists alike. Not to mention, the pension happens to be a stone's throw from the lake, close to cycling paths, and has a restaurant on site that serves the most delicious food a person could feast upon. My bed is chock full of goose-down feathers; providing the perfect nest for my weary body and the best slumber I've had in months. Heaven on Earth.

This trip has been eye-opening on so many levels. I needed time away to gain perspective, explore new surroundings, get lost in nature, and to rejuvenate. Work has been incredibly stressful the last couple of months and I just needed to escape my everyday life in Korea. Sometimes it's hard to realize that I am technically on an 'extended vacation' from my life back home in America. However, after sometime abroad, your life ceases to exist in the vacation mindset and you suddenly become assimilated into the current culture you are living in. I never thought I would say this but I miss Korean culture: the food, people, language, and way of living. Korea has indeed become my 'home away from home.'

It's a beautiful thing to travel off the beaten path in order to find your way home again.

Beauty of Joy

Joy.

Great happiness, the success in finding, doing, or getting something, the cause of delight, expression of emotion, the state of well-being. The thing we all struggle finding.

Joy comes from within; it is the source of happiness that is expressed through smiling, laughter, and our kindness. There are many things that could and often do bring us joy, but there are very few people in life that exude joy effortlessly. For some people, joy is natural, easy, and it just radiates from them. You know the people I am talking about; the quiet, shy, reserved yet they are peaceful and joyful. They are simply a joy to be around. For the rest of us, it takes a bit of effort to change our minds and hearts to simply be happy. And, that's okay. For some of us, it doesn't come so easily due to our life circumstances, physical pain, emotional heartbreak, past experiences, or constant stress from work or relationships with friends and family. Some of us simply have to work at being joyful. That's never a bad thing....it's called adulthood. Without pain, we would never know or understand joy.

Meet Renee + Andy. These two are the most precious, kind-hearted, sweet, gentle, and most JOYFUL children that I have ever met. They exude JOY on a daily basis. They love unconditionally, they help effortlessly, their kindness and gentle spirits just want to make your heart melt. Their innocence is full of joy and it makes them beautiful from the inside out.

Renee has this natural ability to bring calmness to my calamity. She knows when I am having a bad day; she will just reach out across the table and hold my hand until I smile. She is goofy as ever, never caring what her peers think, and she brings laughter to the room in an instant. Her hugs melt your heart. Her sweetness makes your teeth ache.

"Teach-uh.... you my best friend."

Andy has this creative imagination that takes him to another world, and he is never afraid to explore. He reminds me of Buddy the Elf; always smiling and just full of joy. While the rest of us look at him in wonder, he doesn't care and just keeps smiling. He is the type of kid who smiles while crying because he doesn't like to be sad, even when he gets hurt--he will push through the pain and just keeps smiling. Why? Because he has JOY deep within him. Everyday I am greeted by this HUGE smile from Andy and it brightens my day. I just want to keep this kid forever.

The innocence of childhood allows for this greatness of joy. There is no war, there is no pain, there is no heartbreak; instead, their world is filled with superheroes, princesses, imagination, creativity, laughter, and joy.

Can you imagine a world through the eyes of these children? Can you imagine if we laughed through our pain, kept smiling through life difficulties, enjoyed one another's company, played more, fought less, acted silly without a care in the world, and loved each other as unconditionally as children?

That world is why I keep teaching. That world is what fuels me to continue to bring lightness and love to my students. That world is what brings me joy. 

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like shadow that never leaves.

-Buddha

Beauty of Twenty-Eight

Do you ever have those moments where you are caught up in everything around you? The sights, smells, sounds, the company; it all makes you want to hit pause and relish the time and beauty around you.

I am officially into my third week of turning twenty-eight and I already want life to just slow down. April has arrived and before I blink, I know another month will have disappeared. Not to mention, I made the realization that I have been in Korea for 7 months exactly. Where does our time go? What have I been doing with my life? What have any of us been doing with our lives?

Breathe. Slow down, please.

I need + want to start living my life with purpose.

As the countdown, 'Homeward Bound,' flashes in the distance to 139 days, 9 hours and 47 some minutes, I realize that I have much to see + do + travel in the next coming weeks and before the next year(s) of my life.  I must prioritize the things I value in life and start living them with tenacity, direction, and force. Life is an ocean worth exploring; time to steer this ship in the right direction.

In order to keep myself accountable and remind myself that I have much to explore, I have created a list of 'Twenty-Eight Reasons to Live,' if you so choose to humble me in my earnest attempt of purposeful living. May this list serve as a reminder [to anyone] that time is short, ever so fleeting, and extremely precious. There is so much to do and there isn't enough time in my life--or any--to finish it all, but I must at least set sail and live adventurously.

28 reasons to live...

1. Appreciate nature + hike + climb more

I've always enjoyed the mountains. Nothing brings me greater joy, peace, or sense of accomplishment than setting out on an unknown trail and ascending into the depths of the sky. I have always loved the outdoors: the fresh air, the landscape, the wildlife, and the sunshine. I guess being outside brings great nostalgia since my grandparents lived in Northern Minnesota [which everyone should experience] and I enjoyed many great summers running + getting lost in the wild forests, climbing trees, jumping in every lake imaginable, making s'mores, shooting firecrackers, catching fish, riding four-wheelers + dirt bikes, and just living life as a happy, wild, carefree kid.

Seoraksan, Bukhansan, Jirisan, Hallasan, Patagonia, and the Appalachian Trail are all on my list this year.

2. Maintain a healthy lifestyle + work out regularly at the gym + cycling

I've always struggled with my body image + health for various reasons whether it be my family history, my experience with death among family + friends, or being teased as a kid. There is an underlying fear in my heart that I'm going to end up like many of my family members struggling with heart disease, diabetes, suffering a stroke, or lung failure. My health and future is extremely important [as it is to everyone] and I want to treat my body as a temple: nourishing it with healthy foods, exercising, and a happy soul.

love your body.

3. Eat clean + drink less [or not at all]

Since moving to Korea, I have lost a considerable amount of weight [at least 10-12 lbs]. I hope to continue the path I am on by gradually going back to eating a clean + raw diet [especially upon returning home]. Also, it's my goal to limit my alcohol intake; not using alcohol as a way to fix my problems or mood, or using it as a crutch to have fun or party. This will be hard since I do love craft beer... IPA is my blood type, after all. Moderation will be key.

eat strong; live strong.

4.  Surfing + scuba diving on the East coast of Korea

The ocean is another great infatuation of mine. I love hearing the crash of waves, digging my toes into the sand, and breathing in the salty air. I've also admired those who have the [natural] ability to get up on a surfboard and glide across the waves as if they were simply walking. Surf's up!

5. Reflect + unplug from society by doing a Temple stay for a weekend

While technology has become our greatest advancement in society, I fear that it has destroyed us as humans. We have become so self-absorbed in our technological world; we are obsessive, narcissistic [selfie was the top word of 2013], and extremely competitive with one another. How many times do you hate yourself upon looking at your Facebook newsfeed because of the [misleading] perception that everyone seems to be living a better life than you? Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest all breed jealousy, greed, and covetousness within us. 

We always want what we don't have and we stress ourselves to be better in the areas of our homes, appearance, careers, exercise, food, fashion, etc. While I am completely guilty of obsessing over my Instagram + Pinterest account, I want to change the way I think and feel by unplugging myself from the digital world and reflecting on holistic matters such peace + friendship + love+ spirituality. What better way to unplug than to experience a sacred Temple stay here in Korea?

6. Invest in friendships + spend quality time [often] with people 

Spending quality time with my friends is extremely important as it is one of my 5 love languages. I enjoy my friends' company and I want to make it a purposeful goal of mine to take the time to invest in them as individuals to help them realize their worth and potential. Just as I believe in my family; I hope to pour that belief and love into the individual and group friendships I have here in Korea and America.

I. love. all. of. you.

7. Nourish my intellect by reading books [one per week] + attend book club

As a kid growing up, I used to read or check out at least 3-5 books per week. I am extremely grateful that my school implemented an accelerated reading program because I took advantage of it to the fullest. Because of this program and my natural curiosity for learning and using my imagination, I loved nothing more than reading a good book. From Dr. Seuss to The Boxcar children series to R.L. Stine to Nancy Drew to eventually Hemingway, Dickinson, Plath, Salinger, Eyre, Fitzgerald and more; reading became a huge part of my life. I was a huge nerd growing up-- it's time to settle back into my roots and set forth on the Reading Rainbow.

8. Master the Yoga headstand + out-stand my friend, Bruce

I am fascinated by the strength people develop through the use of Yoga. I would love to devote more of my life to Yoga and become a stronger individual. Earlier this year, my friend Bruce and I did headstands during class to entertain our kids and we had them count as to how long we could stay in position. Bruce could obviously out-stand my headstand because he has impressive core strength. Well, challenge is on Bruce! Time to practice and build up my core strength so we can have a headstand-off!

Namaste.

9. Photograph three things daily, even if not publicly shared on Instagram or Facebook

Photography is another passion of mine; one that has been extremely neglected, especially in the area of professional development. Anyone who follows me already knows I am an Instagram junkie. However, I want to make a conscious effort to develop my skills technically and professionally. I also want to steer from the habit of comparing myself to other photographers' style and focus on my own style and brand, and also not give up when I don't produce the images I was striving to achieve. 

Ansel Adams said it best, "When words become unclear, I shall focus on photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence."

10. Volunteer monthly [Feed Your Seoul, PLUR, Help Your Seoul]

Compassion is something I have been greatly neglecting lately and I fear the absence has had an impact on my personality and soul as of lately. I find myself extremely irritable, emotional, and unbalanced and I am certain it is because of one thing: selfishness.Time to make life about helping others and not my own selfish accord. There are plenty of areas of service here in Korea. Homelessness. Animal Shelters. Soup Kitchens. There are no excuses to not get out and serve my community. 

"Give your hands to serve and your hearts to love."-Mother Theresa

11. Attend a live concert in Korea

One thing I miss about Minneapolis is the ability to attend a live show without breaking the bank. Hongdae does have plenty of local + indie music venues here in Korea, but the music scene is mainly punk or whiny acoustic cover sets of 'Let it Go,' or other Frozen related tracks. 

12. Try one new restaurant weekly and + share my experiences

Food is an easy favorite pastime of mine. I enjoy the colors, the smells, and the social effect it has on bringing people together in fellowship. My friends and I have decided we are going to dedicate our Monday nights to each other and seek out new, adventurous foods here in Korea. Look to my Instagram for all of the delicious adventure!

Casa Lavash is one of my favorite restaurants here in my neighborhood. While it is not entirely the best shawarma or lavash I have tried, the restaurant certainly makes up for it with the friendly staff, board games, and overall ambiance.
I love eating here with my friends + coworkers!

13. Accept criticism as a way to change and grow but not as a harmful attack

Constructive criticism is something I have struggled with greatly in life. I don't take feedback very well and I always view it as an "attack" on my personality and individuality. These are the unfortunate effects of being bullied most of your life. When people attack your appearance, weight, personality, etc, you begin to internalize everything. However, I am going to swallow my pride and accept criticism as a way to change and grow. 

14. Be more positive and present in life + relationships + work
Unfortunately, my positivity has been suffering as of lately due to an overwhelming amount of stress at my job and some personal issues that have resurfaced. I hope to sort out through these issues, and become more positive with time and grace from people around me; I know that change needs to come from within. Happiness is achieved when we stop waiting for things to happen and you make the most out of every moment you have now.

Be happy.

15. Affirm myself daily 
 I am strong, courageous, beautiful, capable, intelligent, funny, independent and adventurous. 
["You is strong, you is kind, you is IMPORTANT."- The Help]
We all could use more affirmation in our lives. Love yourself daily.

16. Watch movies + read books all day at least once in awhile

People sometimes forget that I am an introvert and that I need alone time to reflect, recharge, and restart. There are some days where I just want to disconnect from my world and dive into a pile of books or watch my favorite movies. This can be good for anyone... once in awhile won't hurt.

17. Feature a friend on my blog + write about what makes them beautiful

This blog has been sitting on the digital world shelf for some time now. I came to Korea to explore adventure and write about my experiences, the people, the culture, and what brings beauty to our lives. Time to restart and revamp the blog into something worth reading. I hope to achieve this by writing about the beautiful people I have met thus far here in Korea and share their story of becoming an expat here in Korea. 

Everyone has a story. Everyone deserves to be heard. 

18. Complete a long distance biking + camping trip in Korea 
[Seoul to Daegu or Busan]

I picked up a cycling magazine the other day and became inspired to set out on a cross-country cycling trip here in Korea. I have wanted to do this on several occasions while living in MN but I never had the motivation. Hopefully this jump starts a motivation and my passion for cycling again. While this goal is going to take serious planning, I feel that I am more than capable of cycling cross-country from Seoul to Busan. If anyone is interested in joining me, let's get a map and get started!

19. Clean my apartment more than once a week + de-clutter my life

Clean apartment = clean life. Period. I am tired of tripping over my recycling, watching my dishes pile up, and throwing clothes about my room to find what is actually clean or dirty. I've always been that "messy" child. I envy my sister who can clean like it's nobody's business. I am setting aside two days per week to catch up on household chores + errands. There's hope for me yet.

20. Rebuild relationships with family + call home more than once a month

My relationship with my siblings has always been strained. As the eldest among my siblings, I may seem overprotective and overbearing to them, but really it comes from a place of love and adoration. I have always wanted the best for my siblings; sometimes the mistakes or choices they make disappoint me, but only because I know what they are capable of achieving and I believe in them greatly [good grief, I now know what my mom feels]. However, we all need to make our own choices, mistakes, and live out our experiences--it's our greatest tool of learning. We have had our fair share of arguments, wrestling matches, and sibling wars in our childhood; I want to change my relationship with them and re-discover my siblings as grown adults. I can't imagine a life without any of them. 

21. Go paragliding
Thrill is my middle name. Roller-coasters. Skydiving. Bungee-jumping. There are no limits to my fear or adoration for dangerous activities that result in an euphoric rush. I love it when my heart drops into my stomach and all I can muster is a scream. The faster my heart races, the better.

22. Experience Mud Fest + Korea Burn

These are two festivals I hope I am able to experience while living abroad here in Korea. Boryeong Mud Festival is held in Boryeong, a small town about 200 km south of Seoul. The mud festival is an experience to be had because the mud is considered rich in minerals and vitamins that are often used in cosmetics. Korea Burn is one big hippie fest modeled after Burning Man: people travel to the beach to set up tents, play instruments, explore Yoga, participate in body-painting, fire-spinning, and other creative expression and forms of art. Sign me up.

23. Practice guitar + play at one open mic night in Korea
Music has always been a large part of my life. I am grateful for the gift, talent, and natural ability to pick up an instrument and play. Playing guitar has been a healthy outlet for my frustrations lately. I love picking up my guitar and experimenting with different techniques and notes. It's my goal before I leave Korea to play at an open mic. I miss jamming with my friends back home. Can't wait to come home!

24. Travel to: Japan, Thailand, Cambodia, Bali, India, Nepal, Australia, France, Poland, Germany, Greece, England, Ireland, Italy, Argentina, Chile, Brazil, and Peru.

I am ever so grateful that I was given the opportunity to travel to Africa 10 years ago. Because of my trip overseas, I was fortunately bitten by the travel bug. Since then I have adventurously set out into the world with passport in hand and dreams in my pocket. I am also fortunate to be living here in Korea with easy travel access to some of the most beautiful countries on Earth. It is my goal to set out across the world upon finishing my contract here in Korea and live life adventurously. I may not reach all of these countries, but I hope to cross some of them off my list this year before returning home. Cheers to an early retirement.

Adventure is out there.

25. Write daily [duh]

Ever since my college professor crushed my dreams of becoming a professional writer; I have struggled with my confidence in writing, blogging, journaling, etc. I know it's completely silly to let another person's individual [bitter] opinion have any sort of impact on my goals; but I still can't shrug off his comments about my "lengthy" and irregular form of writing. I know some of the 'greats' of literature and journals were born out of such disbelief and criticism, but it's going to take practice, time, and patience with myself to build my confidence and belief in myself.

26. Smile + laugh without hesitation

Someone commented on how I am always laughing in our group of friends and I realized: I only hope to keep laughing in life. Laughter is the byproduct of JOY. If I ever stop laughing, you can tell my joy has disappeared and that is never a good sign. I want to be able to smile and laugh without fear of being judged or caring what others may think of me. If I'm being judged for the amount I laugh or smile, then those people are simply jealous because they lack authentic joy. 

27. Get a new tattoo [always a favorite]

Tattoos have become an unexpected creative outlet and form of expression for me. If you have ever seen my tattoos, you know they have a deep and personal meaning behind them yet they are very simple. I don't really envision myself with too many more [you're welcome, Mom] but I do at least want to get one to express my latest adventure of traveling abroad and my love for all things outdoor. Henry David Thoreau once said, "All good things are wild and free." 

Wild. Adventurous. Free. 

28. Run a 5K + 10K + Half- Marathon this year [Korea + America]

Time to lace up the running sneakers and set forth out on the open pavement. I love the endorphin high that comes from running. I certainly wish I was more talented at running or had the ability to run marathons every other month like some of my friends; I want to take the leap and commit to at least three races this year. Baby steps.

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. T.S. Elliot

Beauty of Moving On

My friend posed an interesting question last night: "A year ago, did you ever picture you would be at a rest stop in Korea eating Korean food?"

No, no I didn't. Simply, because a year ago to date, my heart was crushed by a guy I was dating. A year ago, I was devastated. A year ago, I was shell-shocked as to how a guy, who seemed to be 'crazy in love' with me, suddenly stopped those feelings and decided I wasn't good enough for his picturesque lifestyle: being an engineer, getting into the best shape of his life, driving his expensive car, and creating the perfect bachelor pad. A year ago, I was a hot mess.

A year ago, I lost sight of my goals, dreams, passions, and my sense of true beauty. I had no idea what I wanted for myself anymore. I thought I wanted a relationship and true love, but maybe those things were simply coveted because I felt I had to settle down like the rest of my peers. A year ago, I was desperate to be connected. 

I'll be honest, I was jealous half the time my roommates talked about their boyfriends or crushes; perhaps finding love was my way to relate and fit in. Not to mention, there comes a certain social pressure being the eldest child in your family. Even though no one has verbally pressured me to get married or have children, I somehow felt the silenced weight on my shoulders regardless. So, when the world around you seems to be falling in love, your heart begins to wonder when you'll jump on board as well. 

My heart wandered everywhere and anywhere; I went through multiple guy interests, had my heart crushed several times, cried many tears, ate plentiful pints of Ben & Jerry PB Banana frozen yogurt, initiated dates, cancelled dates, made awkward conversation and baked more than enough brownies for boys to put Martha Stewart to shame. My heart wanted love, and it wanted it badly. Little did I know that love just wasn't for me [yet]. Instead, there were dreams to be dreamt, goals to be completed, and adventure to be had.

There is something beautiful about moving on; it demonstrates strength, perseverance, and growth. It shows that you are capable of learning, experiencing, and changing into something bigger than yourself. Moving on is hard and not for the faint of heart. It takes time to pick up all the broken pieces, strength to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, guts to get back on the horse, and willpower to live another day. No one will ever deny your experience of moving on; we have all had our own and know full well just how gruesome it can be. Just keep swimming. Live another day. Get back on that horse. Breathe. It WILL be ok.

But, when you do move on, stop and ask yourself, where was I one year ago today? You will be amazed as to how much you have accomplished, how far you have traveled, and how beautiful your journey has become since taking that first step forward.

I am amazed and ever so grateful for my mama teaching me to be incredibly resilient, fearless, independent, strong, courageous, and curious about my world. Without her own experiences in facing the tough waters, I wouldn't have learned to be such a great swimmer. I am beyond blessed to have such great friends who shared wisdom and encouragement on my rockiest days. I am privileged to have met such amazing people in my life that serve as inspiration, strength, and cheerleaders to chase lofty dreams and pursue my heart's desire: adventure. Without any of you, I would not be on this journey to find and discover beautiful things.

So what, a year ago I didn't think I would be in Korea. A year from now, I can only imagine the adventure that is yet to come. 

And that's just okay with me.

"Miss Jenny, I would do this to the boy who broke your heart." -tighe

Stress & Solitude

There are very few days where I crave solitude. Personality tests have all pointed me towards a classic ambivert: a person who is moderately comfortable in social groups and interactions yet relishes time alone, away from a crowd. Believe me, I am grateful that I am able to demonstrate equality in my personality, but sometimes, the extroversion comes to a screeching halt and I just want to be alone.

I am an artist through and through: I need time to reflect, write, play music, paint, read books or watch movies and express myself through creative outlets. I am not afraid to be alone. I am comfortable yet not too comfortable because Lord knows, there are days where I need people around me, even if I don't even talk or contribute to conversation; just as long as someone is in my presence.

Solitude grants me grace. It allows room for me to be myself and not have others judge me. I can dance as crazily as I want in my apartment, sing to my heart's content [sorry neighbors], laugh, cry, reflect, and restore my inner peace. Solitude encourages me to love myself and nurture my body through eating healthy foods, drinking water, and resting my body and mind [which all has been deprived as of late].

Living abroad has its [many] challenges and I've become burnt out lately. Stress has continually built up in my life to the point where I don't even know how to cope in healthy ways anymore. I feel lost again. My body is weak, malnourished, and dehydrated. There is an unbalance in my emotions, thinking process, and expression. This stress is often the result of being the type of person that gives unconditionally through work and relationships. I listen to my friends without question. I take their problems onto my own shoulders. I put continuous effort into my lesson planning without gratitude or recognition from my superiors. I am a "people pleaser": always thinking of others and not myself. I'm always trying to set boundaries, but I continuously fail.

Don't get me wrong, I love being there for others, but there are days where I just need to think of myself and take care of me. Today was a day where I needed to put myself first. If I'm going to survive the next six tumultuous months of living abroad, I need to take care of my mind, my body, and my soul. There are many changes ahead in work, and my friendships here in Korea and back home. New management at work, new coworkers, friends leaving, missing out on my friends' engagements, weddings, graduations, and babies being born back home. My heart is being pulled in so many directions, I honestly can't keep up. I want to be there for people but I just simply can't. Life moves on without me and it hurts because I know change is inevitable. I fully understand that change is a lifelong process that brings opportunity for learning about others and learning about yourself; how you can continually grow and improve in life. But somedays, change sucks and its okay to be disappointed or frustrated. I'm working on ways to deal with change and accept it without struggle.

Today was a day where I picked up my guitar and wrote some songs, I napped, read a few books, walked in the park to reflect, and I made myself a healthy meal to jump start a day of healing my body and soul. Today was about me and I didn't feel guilty. Today, I needed solitude to erase the stress, rejuvenate, and replenish. Solitude brought reflection on the current changes in my life and how I can cope in healthy ways. Solitude awakened my need to dance and enjoy life.

Solitude brought out the beauty in me.

“It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, ‘Self-Reliance’